Remember this post, “He Tells Me I’m not Suffering!“?

There were so many awesome comments on that post that I’ve been curious to know how everyone is doing with their suffering.

I up’d my intensity on the elliptical and weight training, but then I went down to the women’s business workshop, the Next Octave, in San Francisco (didn’t work out) and then from there went to San Diego for our women’s photography workshop (had ALL kinds of intentions to work out and didn’t), only to come home and feel tired from being gone for two weeks=too tired to work out for another week! Before I knew it three weeks had gone by with no exercise. ERRR!

My chiropractor is the best guy and said, “Me Ra, just don’t beat yourself up! That’s the worst thing you can do. Get your sleep, recover from traveling, be kind in your self talk and then get back out there.” So I took a deep breath, let down and can you believe that last week I slept for twelve hours a night!! Went to bed at 8:30pm and woke up around 8:45am–four days in a row! Not only that but I took two hour naps in the middle of the day! I was starting to wonder if I was depressed!

But then my energy kicked back in and this morning I got up at 4:45am and went for a twenty mile bike ride.

Watching the sunrise over the Puget Sound was AWESOME! Will I crash with fatigue at 4pm today, oh yes, but seeing the sunrise with 10 other cyclists was worth it!

I was so excited to get back on the bike because of how much weight training I did all winter. Okay, I quickly found that unless your also biking the weight training can mean almost zilch when it comes to riding the bike. Oh my goodness, I barely kept up with the group this morning. Sometimes I wasn’t keeping up at all, but Diego was kind and stayed back with me till I got up the hills. Isn’t it frustrating that just because you suffer in one area, you don’t necessarily get a Free Pass in other areas?

In case you want to put a face to Diego, he’s the second guy in with the green skirt on.

So it feels a bit like starting over on my bike right now, but as long as that sunrise is waiting for me, I’m good.

Isn’t it all about how it makes you feel more than what the scale says! The feeling of accomplishment for getting my rear out of bed at 4:45am is so much greater than what the scale says I weigh. It’s like, “who cares what the scale says!! I just biked twenty miles and my family is still asleep!”

Tell us some tales from your suffering since you did your Five Steps to Prepping. Did you kick into gear and then drop off after a month? Did you have weeks where you didn’t exercise but pushed yourself to get back in there again? Have you been consistent the whole time? I’m dying to know!

p.s. I made a special category on our forum called Suffering with Me Ra so we can keep this conversation up or and maybe get some guests to give us cool tips! We are closer to the forum going live. We just can’t believe how long it’s taking to figure out how to customize the look and feel of it so the branding is consistent with our other websites. It’s so annoying because the software people told us “this is such a User Friendly” back end! Yeah right! But don’t give up on the forum, we are still plugging away. Brian says 90% there.

(It’s one of those long posts today so get your coffee. :))

Back in April we had our wonderful, fragrant, yummy Sonoma Photography Workshop. I have yet to show you my special blog post for this workshop!

But today, I wanted to share with you about our Add On Day with Rick Chapman and some deeper lessons I learned in Portrait Photography.

Rick is an amazing photographer. He does wonderful portrait work for celebrity athletes. But he also has this HUGE heart that oozes out of him when he talks about his family or his photography. This is Rick with his little guy. (fyi, these great workshop images are by Garrett, our fearless Sonoma Workshop Host! Thanks Garrett!)

For the Add On Day, we were given the honor of going to Rick’s home in Stinson Beach. Wow, what a place of quiet inspiration!

He started our time by showing us a breathtaking book that was all about his wife, Leslie. Get this…every page of this book was a single portrait he had taken of Leslie over TEN years time. Rick told us he prepared this in secret and surprised Leslie. He described this as a personal project in documenting that constant, changing beauty of his wife over ten years time. (Oh my goodness, there wasn’t a dry eye in the room at this point!)

As Rick began to teach his approach to working with clients,

he described how he begins a portrait photo shoot. He first starts with one question, “What’s the one photo you’ve always wanted of yourself but never had?” He said that since his clients are often well known celebrities, they’ve had thousands of photo shoots done. So he likes to start with their desires. What a wonderful way to start a portrait shoot, don’t you think?

As the day unfolded, I told Rick there is a portrait I’ve always wanted of me and Brian that has never been done. I asked if he’d be open to trying this idea out while at the same time modeling a photo shoot for the group. Rick was more than willing.

I had no idea what kind of an impact this experience would have on me. Weeks later I’m still processing this photo shoot and the journey he took us on.

So what’s the portrait I’ve always wanted of me and Brian?

It’s a moment when we’re not laughing but the connection between us is ever there and powerful. If you’ve met us you know we laugh a lot together. When people take our picture we’re often being silly. But I’ve always wanted a more serious shot of us–something that reflects our deep losses, the pain we’ve gone through–and shows that their is beauty and life with these things in mind.

As a photographer, I find that sometimes it’s easier or more comfortable to encourage and capture the laughing kind of energy. It’s true to life too. It much easier to be with people who are having a good time, then to sit with someone who is suffering and know you have no answers. This is why I love the verse that says it’s better to visit the house mourning then the house of praise because what a gift it’s been when people have visited my uncomfortable house of mourning.

I told Rick about how we’ve gone through a lot of pain in our marriage. We’ve lost much and still carry the sadness from it. I told him that I want to believe beauty lives in the sadness too.

I want our kids to see that suffering doesn’t stop with the pain: the suffering can also create beauty and goodness. But then I told Rick my two fears. One, I was scared to go to that place with a photographer because it felt so vulnerable, and two, I was afraid that the more “serious shot” wouldn’t be “pretty”.

Pretty? It sounds petty, but it was how I felt. Would I myself see beauty in the serious shot or prefer to stay comfortable with the side of us that is fun? Rick being the safe and gentle artist he is created a space for Brian and I to risk discovering the answer for ourselves.

At first we were laughing because we were nervous. I think it was great for the women attendees to see that even though all three of us are professionals, it still takes work and a little time to get into the core of of your subject–no matter how much experience the photographer or clients have.

When the nervousness started to die down, Rick asked us to close our eyes and think of our children and the gift we have in them.

After a couple moments of our eyes being closed, he asked us to now open them and for me to look deep into the camera with all that I’m feeling.

This is what Rick captured.

He had Brian move behind me and play off the dynamics of our marriage. Brian is the total cuddler between us that often holds me together when I feel like I’m coming apart.

And an unexpected snuggle.

Rick helped Brian and I find a quiet place within ourselves. It didn’t come right away, but he guided us and then all of a sudden we were there. As he was shooting, I could feel the pain, the loss, and the energy of life. It was a moment of such enduring strength.

To have this photographed was an amazing gift.

I realized that even though I wanted these type of images done, I was afraid that I wouldn’t like what they looked like. Or better said, I wouldn’t like what I looked like. Was I comfortable seeing my own serious side, the part that feels the suffering more than the joy? Would I think this side of me was beautiful when captured in a portrait?

As you can imagine, so many lessons were taken from our time with Rick. I know the women who attended took away their own powerful lessons (maybe they’ll share some in the comments…:)). Not to mention how excited I am to ask my clients, “What’s the one photo you’ve always wanted of yourself but never had?” Can you imagine the diversity in answers you would get?!

Rick, thank you for helping us see that yes, their is beauty in the quietness, in the loss, and in the sadness.

We are in debt to you.

I sat down to write this post and Blaze looks and me and says, “Mama, sometimes when you talk you sound just like Batgirl!” My day is off to a great start! In Blaze’s world, this is a huge compliment.

So I asked Brian last night what the photo contest should be with all the suggestions made. And he looked at me as if to say “Are you kidding me? DUH! DADS!!”

I guess it’s dads! Or Brian said it could be called “Fatherhood” which may sound more inviting and dramatic.

The deadline for this photo contest is Monday, June 30th!! Send all your submissions to contest@merakoh.com!!

Your entries can either focus on a detail that speaks to dads…

or it can be an image with dad in it that somehow shows us what he’s like in his role.

Your image can be funny or serious. It’s totally up to you!

We’ll have a grand prize for the winner and prizes for the Random Voter Awards! All prizes to be announced! Lots of you have expressed loving these or those for the Random Voter Awards, so maybe we’ll do that again!

Send them in and inspire us!!

To get inspired by previous photo contests, check out the Photo Contest category. Lots of good stuff!

Quick question about the Seattle Workshop!

…are we still wanting one? Check this previous post out. It looks like 29 of you voted for August and 35 of you voted for December. We may be able to pull of both dates–still looking at the details. If we did the August 22-24th dates, how many of you the 29 voters can still make those dates?

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We need another photo contest!! Don’t you think?

So we can see more of your amazing images!!

What should the new theme be?

I always love all your ideas!

I’ve been working on a magazine submission for one of our bride’s this week. Her wedding has a very good chance of being featured in a well respected wedding magazine (we’re keeping our fingers crossed), and we wanted to send the editor images of her invitations, programs, address labels, etc.

Have you ever noticed how hard it is to shoot still life? I totally prefer taking photos of people over still life because people have all the emotion to work with, but wow, when it’s still life…my respect for food photographers goes way up! The food in Cooking Light gets much yummier looking for sure!

In our Getting Published 101 Kit, I write a lot about what magazine editors are looking for when you submit individual stock images or full weddings for publication. I have found that one of the key components that makes or breaks a wedding being featured is the amount of detail images. You can have the most beautiful bride and groom photos, but if you don’t have detail images too your chances of getting published just went way down.

Why? Editors know that brides buy wedding magazines to look for new and creative detail ideas for their own upcoming weddings. Whether it’s the untraditional veil

or making your programs look like actual Playbills

or the gifts for all the dinner guests

and the heirloom pearls and favorite teacup

brides love details! I did when I was a bride. And I still do!

As I’ve been working on these wedding images, I’ve noticed that the 85mm (fixed/prime) lens works best. The below shots are all the way down to a 1.4 F-stop/aperture. This means super blur every where expect the point I’m focused on (the focus point was the pearls on the invite). I feel like the low f stop helps add emotion and dimension.

When shooting details think low aperture/f stop. If you’re a wedding photographer, consider buying a macro lens for your details. (I used the macro lens on the above teacup/pearls image.) There are maybe 10 images I shoot with the macro in the whole 12 hour wedding day, but those 10 macro images may be the very thing that gets the wedding published in a magazine. And that publicity is definitely worth the cost of the macro lens.

For more tips on getting your images published, check out our Getting Published 101 Kit. We’ve had great feedback from photographers who have purchased it!

Also, the Early Bird Special for the Chicago Workshop ($799 instead of $999) ends tonight at midnight PST! If your planning on coming, make sure you don’t miss out on this 20% savings!!! You can register here!

Can’t wait to meet all of you in Chicago!! And yes, the forum is still in progress so hopefully all of you Chicago ladies will be able to chat there sooner than later. (again, fingers crossed)

Before I went to San Fran for my women’s business workshop, I got something super pretty!!  I can’t believe I forgot to show all of you! 

Want to see!!!

It’s the Sony VAIO CR Series in PINK, in PINK, in PINK-PINK!-PINK!!  oh so pretty pink, laptop!!! I LOVE IT!!!

Look at this keyboard! It’s a brushed pink with a brushed silver keyboard. Women were drooling over this at the airport! I drool over it while Brian is embaressed to carry it for me. I even got a matching pink laptop case.

And can I just say that working on a pink laptop is way more fun and inspiring than a black or silver one!!

(for more close up images of this beautiful thing, click here!)

Thanks for indulging my excitment over pink laptops.  Can you imagine how crazy I’d get with a pink DSLR! 

A few weeks ago we had the wonderful pleasure and total treat of shooting Catherine and Trevor’s engagement photos! They are getting married in Colorado this summer, but we decided to meet up in San Diego and have some fun.

Trevor is a competitive surfer, so of course we had to bring the surfboard! And I about died when I saw the pink garage across the street!

I especially like this second one. See how the trees are leaning to the left. I had Trevor walk on the left side and then asked him to lean in to Catherine for a kiss. I wanted the motion of the trees, Trevor holding her hand as they walk, and then they kiss so that the overall image feels like everything was swaying. Does that make sense? I know it’s totally abstract talk, but those were my thoughts when setting up the shot.

Brian and I also did some fun close ups with the pink garage as our background.

Being able to shoot with your spouse is wonderful in endless ways! I don’t think either of us would ever shoot a wedding alone because we so deeply respect each other’s point of view. If Brian wasn’t at the wedding shooting with me, I would feel like half the images were missing. Why? When I’m taking the above straight on shot, Brian is off to my right taking the close up shot.

Brian is also the master at using his 70-200mm zoom to take these close up, intimate shots. I love his eye! But a big part of the emotion in images is how safe the couple feels with each other. If the safety and tenderness don’t exist we can’t fabricate it.

Tender is the word to describe Trevor’s affection for Catherine. Completely tender.

Can I share a couple more.

We did these shots at the Valencia Hotel in La Jolla.

Brian and I refer to our style as Photo Coaching. This is a term we kind of came up with one night because we aren’t true photojournalists (the fly on the wall). We find that our clients really appreciate and want direction for their photos. And we love giving them ideas of what to do that will evoke different types of emotion. It’s as if we’re coaching them through a session. Here are two shots of me explaining what I’m thinking for the next part of our photo shoot.

We are going to be working with the doorway behind me and the beautiful ivy. You can tell in the shot below that Catherine and I are totally having fun and Trevor, what a great guy, he’s not so sure but will go along with anything.

Thanks for trusting me on the set up Trevor! You did exactly what I was hoping! I love these shots! The way Catherine is nestled into you says your her resting place.

And then again, here is Brian’s close up, intimate shot from a different point of view.

Catherine and Trevor, we are so honored to be the photographers for your upcoming wedding. Witnessing the two of you together showed us how safe you feel with one another. Trevor’s tenderness toward you shows me how much he adores you–and you in turn feeling at rest with him. What an honor to document this for the two of you. Thank you so much for the opportunity.

EARLY

Yep, that’s right!!! If you are taking advantage of the Early Bird Discount for our upcoming Chicago Workshop, use the coupon code EARLY when registering for the workshop. All caps and just one word, EARLY.

If you notice the time stamp on this blog posting, we are doing it a few hours earlier than we said we would. I hope you’ll forgive us for this because Brian has been throwing up and running a fever most the weekend, and we are exhausted! But, we wanted to make sure this went live for the morning because we’ve been getting your emails all weekend and love how excited you are! We thought it made the most sense to post it now instead of risking us missing the alarm clock.

ALL the juicy details are on our website at Refuse to Say Cheese! We’ve got 20 spots open, plus one reserved for the new Running on Empty Winner and another reserved for our fabulous Chicago hostess, Gretchen!! (thank you Gretchen for all your hard work!) I’ve been a push over in the past with letting more women in but this time I’m going to be strong. No begging! Ladies you TOTALLY know who you are! Don’t wait to sign up, just get it done and you won’t have to worry about not getting your spot.

The Early Bird Special means you get 20% off if you sign up before this Friday night at midnight (Pacific Time). This means the cost pp is $799 instead of the normal $999! For more details, check out the site! This is going to be one fantastic weekend together! Just the fact that we get to hold it inside the Fine Arts Building in downtown Chicago is killing me!!

Check out the colorful and beautiful courtyard! Are we going to go crazy doing live photo shoots in here or what?!!

Even the inside is warm and inviting!

To top it off our Monday Add On Day is going to be with the fabulous and famous Bob and Dawn Davis! You may know them for shooting weddings like this one,

Or there other clients like this wonderful lady,

I know a ton of you want to be a part of this day but for now we are holding these spots for workshop attendees only.

Once you are registered for the workshop, we will email you within a couple days and send you the link to register for the Add On Day with Bob and Dawn Davis. (This is a separate registration and the cost is $299 pp.) To check out another one of their blogs and see a fantastic video on Bob, click here! (Ron, you did it again!)

So hip-hip-HOORAY!!! We are coming to Chicago with three days of JAM PACKED good stuff!!

Brian and I can’t wait to meet you all!! Don’t hesitate to email us if you have any questions! mera@merakoh.com or brian@merakoh.com

To register for the Chicago Workshop, CLICK HERE!!!

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