I didn’t find photography.
Photography found me.
And then it healed me.
I started as a writer.
For 10 years I worked on one book, Beauty Restored: Finding Life and Hope After Date Rape. The heart of this book was to be a message of hope to women and their husbands/boyfriends, parents and friends. I wanted them to know they were not alone in their pain. It is based on my own painful experience of being date raped in college.
Almost ten years later, on March 20th, 2001, the first day of spring, I birthed two babies; my beautiful, firstborn, Pascaline and Beauty Restored. When Pascaline was three months old we hit the road and for the next 18 months did over 50 National TV Shows and Radio Interviews. While my little one slept in the backs of churches and colleges, I was up front sharing my story and hoping one woman would feel hope again.
After two amazing years on the road, Brian and I were pregnant with our second. His name was Aidan, our little fire. While in TN for a week long speaking tour I started experiencing abdominal pains and three weeks later our baby Aidan’s heartbeat stopped.
After losing Aidan, I couldn’t speak or write and sought refuge in Brian and Pascaline’s love. During those times of grief, I picked up a camera. Pascaline’s innocence was precious from every view point. I found myself working to capture her story: the times she couldn’t stop giggling, the times she curled into the safety of daddy’s arms, the asleep time, the fussy and frustrated times, the first time she played with a yellow balloon…
Friends and family started noticing the photos and asked me to photograph their kids. Soon brides were contacting me for their weddings. I had gone from speaking to 800 women and sharing my story, to finding healing behind a camera. Life had taken this unexpected turn and now I was given the privilege to artistically capture another woman’s story on her wedding day. Photography had found me.
A new chapter of life has unfolded, a chapter of writing other people’s stories through images. Stories of new beginnings, moments of choosing to trust. Every time we shoot a wedding I see these moments; a grandmother reaches to squeeze the bride’s hand, a groom whispers in his bride’s ear, and then her giggle afterwards, a father’s tears while he dances with his daughter. What could be more worthy of capturing than these moments?
Brian and I lead a creative team of associate photographers that do wonderful work alongside us. Our studio has been featured on VH1’s Fabulous Weddings, Oprah and Martha Stewart TV. We are also proudly sponsored by Sony, Adobe and Pictage. In 2008, Grace Ormonde’s premier Wedding Style magazine named us one their Masters of Craft photography teams.
Our images of weddings and children have been published worldwide, as well as won international awards. Alongside our joy for photography, Brian and I have rekindled our love for speaking. Together, we travel nationwide, speaking at photography expos, conferences and leading workshops for not only the professional photographer but the parent, enthusiast and scrapbooker too.
Refuse to Say Cheese and Beyond the Green Box are two instructional DVDs that we scripted and produced. Our vision was to help empower parents in learning to use their cameras. This project has exploded and is bringing joy to thousands!
I’ve also found a new platform for combining my love of writing and photography: blogging. Each day I share a bit of my heart, our work and photography tips and exercises for the pro or enthusiast. In a short time, this outlet has gained an audience of over 13K unique visitors a month.
But the most wonderful thing…we have two beautiful children: Pascaline and Blaze. Capturing their lives is the greatest honor of all.
Each day I find that my pain is still with me over my losses, but the joy is going just as deep if not deeper.
For details on our DVDs and upcoming photography workshops, visit www.refusetosaycheese.com.
To read our daily blog and find photoraphy tips and exercises, visit www.merakohblog.com.
To visit see our day job, visit www.merakoh.com.
Much Love, Me Ra
I came here researching photographers sites b/c I am working on my own(I’m a wedding photo. just breaking out on my own) and wanted to stimulate my thought process. What I read brought tears to my eyes - not so much b/c it’s sad but b/c it’s inspiring. I am 41yrs old. I never thought that I would have lived through all the difficulties I have and still have the strength to reinvent myself with excitment and purpose. My family, my children have taught me the values that are important to me.Your words expressed (so sensitivly) the delicate balance that exists in all our hearts.
Hi there,
Seattle Metropolitan is launching a new Bride & Groom magazine and I
was wondering if I could get your mailing address, in order to send you
an invitation to an upcoming event.
Looking forward to hearing from you!
Thanks!
Krissy
Krissy Vervynck | Circulation Assistant
Portland Monthly Magazine
Portland Bride & Groom
Seattle Metropolitan Magazine
Seattle Metropolitan Bride & Groom
623 SW Oak St. Suite 300
Portland, Oregon 97205
t 503.222.5144 x. 162
f 503.877.2777
the thing about it finding someone and healing.. couldn’t be any truer.
i loved reading this testimonial on how it all came to be…
i think itz beyootiful..and i think that itz amazing when something finds you or something is awakened in you…that might not have been there before, but was placed there. It is awesome. Keep doing what you do guys!!!!
Jen S.
Me Ra….amazing story. Sad yet inspiring. I think you are a true gift to the photography world.
All the best,
Gabe McClintock
Me Ra, I just want to let you know that your pictures are wonderful and I found your tips very helpful.
We met on the plane coming back from Seattle, WA to Chichago,IL on May 7th. I was the one with the baby.
It was very nice meeting you and you were absolutly one of the highlights of my trip.
Heather Wortley
Oh, darling…
I cannot thank you enough for being immediately open about your experience. I have a history with family abuse that, even though we are no longer near each other, it’s unending in the pervasion into the memories, the dreams, the soul. I’m still, every day, trying to recover a part of me from that experience, which led me to many good and many poor choices. I find great solace in my camera, my family that I chose to create, the places i choose to live. I recognize myself in just these simple paragraphs of grief and restoration.
I hope to actually meet you sometime.
So, I can tell you, that in the past five minutes, after asking the gods and goddesses for a mentor for weeks and months, I have found one.
Peace and love,
christina
this story is realy touch my heart …dear
Sad story, I’m glad you are doing better though. Just found your site, your photography is beautiful. Congrats on your success!
My daughter, Leslie just attended your workshop and I am thrilled she did.
Your inspiration is wonderful and I loved hearing about your courage and determination. Plus…I hear your Mom’s a KW agent! Good for you for all the good you do!
Pam Adams
You’ve touched my heart & made me cry. Your story is just amazing. I’m a MOM & wishing I can attend your classes for photography. I am HOOKED on photography & want to get a BETTER camera & learn more !!! are you coming to GA ? anytime soon ? I am here waiting !
Me Ra,
I went googling for Chris Shreve’s art this evening and ended up on your website! It was beautifully entertaining. Loved your face up close on the video of your son with his train!
Me Ra
What a great fighter you are!! Carry on…
Hi! I can’t believe how much your story has touched me. I just lost a baby six weeks ago. Since then my starting photography business has really taken off. It has been my saving grace. I am finding inspiration in the eyes of the children and families I’m shooting. God willing, I will be on the other side of the camera one day. God bless, Charla
Wow, I just found your blog through Dane Sanders blog and I am so moved with your story. I think I just spent an hour or so, maybe more, reading and being inspired by your photos and words. I am a child photographer and looking for ways to grow my small business. I am self taught photographer, and too started capturing first through my children. I am in awe and I will visit often. Thank you for all your words and inspiration. I am a little sad that I did not know of you and your talents before. I feel Like I have been missing out. But, now I am hooked. Thanks for the inspiration.
~Gina Lee
Me Ra…wow. I am amazed by your talent and obviously love and passion for what you do…but after reading your story in your own words, my respect and admiration for the person behind the pictures and the choices you have made in your life astounds and inspires me even more. I am amazed at how you have taken your past painful experiences and instead of assuming a victimized, defeatist stance, you instead chose to find how you could use that to reach others with similar pain. It was simply fuel and has been overshadowed (if not consumed) by your joyful spirit and the happiness you have invited into your heart and life. Because you continued to be open to the things that are right in this world and turned toward the sun, you are now not just absorbing but reflecting it…as evidenced by the enjoyment you have in your husband, children, and life’s work.
As a new mom myself, I am also finding immense joy and healing in the glorious beauty and innocence of my daughter’s existence. I strive to be the kind of person who also looks to share and encourage others with my life…and to teach my daughter to also realize her own strength and potential to reach out to others for good. Keep doing what your doing…enjoying life and sharing it with all of us. I hope to take one of your workshops and someday, be a compatriot in photography and not just a fan!
Be well.
hey there me ra –
I just wanted to write and express how much I admire your work but also your heart for people - It is so obvious through your writings and what others have said about you.
For the past two years I have been shooting weddings in and around the tacoma/seattle area. I came about weddings as a way to pay for college (PLU is expensive!) and through word of mouth I have been able to do it full time. As you well know, it is an absolute blessing to be able to capture those moments on camera.
You may remember the wedding of Dannielle Pelland and Brandon Matison in Puyallup – Dannielle is my cousin-in-law. I remember watching you and your husband work throughout the day, how you dealt with the couple, how you moved about the grounds capturing every detail, etc. At that time, I was just starting out – it was very helpful to see how a true professional worked.
I have never contacted another photographer to tell them how much their work has meant to me in fear that they might consider me a stalker or worse, someone who is stealing their ideas. Recently, I was contacted by Julie Watts (a photographer out of the Tacoma area, I believe you know her) – she expressed how much she enjoyed my work and wanted to chat sometime about the biz. I was flattered, then I heard from a vendor that she had mentioned me to them – I was even more flattered – and decided to write back - we are meeting up later this week.
Long story short – I know you are admired by many and must get countless messages conveying those sentiments but I just wanted to share my admiration and respect for a woman who is leading the way for those like me.
thank you and I look forward to meeting you some day.
cheers.
christy pelland
c.pelland photography
Hi, Me Ra,
great to read your words and feel your heart. Thank you for sharing about me/us so kindly. I would love for you to share my website where and if appropriate and am grateful that I was able to contribute to the Next Octave and to you!
Hey, I won “The Best Striptease Lessons” 2008 San Francisco Weekly.
love, diane greenberg
[...] About Me Ra [...]
Your story moved me to tears and by the time I got to the picture of you with your children, I was bawling. I, too, lost a child very similar to you. My first was Samantha a beautiful little girl eight months in the making. Being a first time mom is an exciting time. And I was doing it all and taking too many risks. Right at the eve of my baby shower…about 32 weeks into the pregnancy…the doctor told me that her heart had stopped beating and that she had to induce me. It was horrifying. Well, you know. The recovery wasn’t easy and it has taken me this long and three children to accept the reality…that she will always be my baby girl and I love staying home and being a mom.
I also share a love of writing and photography. You can say I’m an enthusiast! Can’t wait to preview your DVD’s. This and the photography classes I’m taking will help with my shots and Nikon. By the way, I hope you get on Oprah.
Thanks for the blog!
Me Ra,
I tried to email you about doing that giveaway on my blog, but it bounced. Can you contact me?
Hi, Me Ra and Pascaline,
Thank you for that beautiful post. It was so touching I had to call my husband right away and read it to him. We are in the ocean right now swimming with the sharks as well, and I am going to choose to look at it the way you have described here. Thank you for the reminder.
Darcie
What a beautiful story! I too lost my second child (a son as well) and I know how photography helps to heal those painful wounds. Similar to your story, my healing came through photography and usuing it to help others. I use my past experience to take pictures (at no cost of course)for parents who are loosing and have lost a child (Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation). Thank you for sharing your story and I wish you all the success and happiness there is!
Hi Me Ra
Home after long day of working toooooo hard and connected with your site through pictage……….. can’t blog
but I cried when I read your story and would love to come to Atlanta
I was introduced to your site through a friend last week and I find myself thinking about your blogs and your photos daily. I have a newborn son and we just bought a new camera, a coincidence that all this comes at the same time. You have inspired me! Thank you
Hi Me Ra,
I’d like to share a beautiful new photography book that National Geographic will be publishing in a couple of weeks on March 17, MOTHERS AND CHILDREN, one that might be of interest to you for your blog. This extraordinary book captures the touching bond between mothers and their children, in global photographs that truly speak volumes of emotions.
Mothers and Children celebrates a fascinating array of shared moments of love and togetherness as it celebrates the lives of families from around the world at work, at play and at home. It is full of exceptional and moving photographs capturing the human bond between a woman and her child, extraordinary images that speak immensely of human nature.
I hope this sounds like something that might be of interest to you and your readers for use on your blog or for a special posting in honor of Mother’s Day…please do let me know if this is the case and I’d be happy to send you a copy.
Kind wishes,
Anna Kukelhaus
National Geographic Society
I do not remember how I reached this wonderful Blog, but I have enjoyed it with me morning cup of tea. Wife, Dr Rajbir Kaur, is getting kids ready for the school and I am here to convey my words of thanks and appreciate your work, I am at loss of words. You are doing a wonderful thing by reaching women who have not yet explored their potential. Soon, my wife will also read your Blog and learn good things from you. As I read more and more of your Blog, I will keep coming back to comment and talk to you. This is just after I have read only half a page that I am moved to write to you. I am from India, where the culture is totally different from the west, so I could not understand the term `date rape’. Well, I could make out that it was very bad. Is it used when someone is raped on her date, by her boyfriend? I am sorry, I did not want to talk about it here. Not to scratch your wounds.
Keep the good work going. You are really doing a great work, camera can bring lots of change in life, it did to me and my attitude towards everything.
Best wishes.
Capt Suresh Sharma
INDIA
Dear Me Ra and Brian,
“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same.” (Anonymous)
I am a great believer that things happen for a reason. There is a reason, out there, for our life paths to intersect. We had the pleasure of learning what an incredible people you are, with a clear mission to make this world a better one, by raising two beautiful children and leaving your mark by capturing emotions with your lenses.
We had the greatest pleasure, this past weekend, spending time with you and getting to know your magnetic personalities as you were photographing Shachar and Jay’s wedding.
Thank you for entering our life and capturing our most happy moments with family and friends
I feel we are at the beginning of a new great friendship.
We love you,
Batsheva & Alex
Hi Me Ra,
I wanted to write to you and express my sympathy for your loss. I just started reading the Mom’s survival guide and I have been in tears. I too am having some father issues, and when you said you have restoration I broke down. I am also a christian, and I pray constantly for renewal in our relationship, so I think you give me hope.
I also am struggling with trying to make my dream a reality, after moving to a new state, having two little toddlers at home, things seem really stressful, most of the time, so I am looking forward to reading more about the three minutes you talked about.
I hope someday I can meet you and learn even more from you. Your presence is uplifting, encouraging and pleasant. If you do another atlanta workshop I pray I can attend.
In Christ,
Katrina
We are here shooting on location with Me Ra in Santa Cruz. Watching this production develop is SO inspiring. I know you all will be so excited to see the final DVD. Me Ra and Brian are amazing and we just LOVE working with her!
- lisa